The Journey Home
Journey of the Heart - Rosella Creations Mandala Cards. Grace Like a Wave - in love with being in love Rose Quartz - Self-love, love myself from the inside out. New Jade - total break from destructive people no patterns of behaviour. Kuan Yin - Goddess of compassion
This is the energy I'm working with today and going within to ask why is this journey so emotional for me and why have I been tested from and through my heart?
So as one of my longest friends can testify to, at 18 years old all I ever wanted was to fall in love and get married. That was my absolute and total dream.
20 years on I am now able to look and think, how on earth could that have happened when I am still learning to love myself!
I did not imagine that at 38 I would be going through such an emotional, life-shifting journey of deep healing and spiritual growth.
Over the years through a lack of love for self, low self-worth, as well as external circumstances such as abuse, I became emotionally void. It was easy to mask even the most soul destroying situations with a smile and roaring laughter than to cry and actually sit and feel waves of sadness, acknowledge them in order to release.
And it's not over yet. There is still an enormous amount of healing to come. There is still a long way to go before I can say that I truly love myself and feel that I am worthy of love. But I am strong, stronger than I have ever been. I show up to life everyday, even on the days where I feel emotionally and spiritually battered and bruised, I still show up determined to continue on this path. I show up even though I have no physical home to go back to.
My saving Grace is the strength that you cannot see but I feel bubbling away inside me is ensuring that I will not allow my personal truth or authenticity to be diminished for someone who is not comfortable with embracing their own. That same strength is what enables me to smile and love and care. That strength is what allows me to find, grow and connect with my soul family.